i'm sitting in history class right now and i feel fucking awful. bad grades don't usually bother me but i just don't understand why she had to be so mean in this case. we had to do a DBQ and i didn't come on the day the rest of the class did it because my cousin committed suicide. so i showed up the next day, she yelled at me in front of the class for not coming, and made me do the DBQ in half the time as everyone else the day after my cousin fucking killed himself. i know she graded me especially harshly because i wasn't there the day i was supposed to be and i know it's my fault for feeling like shit and not being able to focus, but i think she could have had a little more sympathy. she didn't know he was 23, she didn't know it was a suicide, she didn't know that me and my whole family have depression, she didn't know that him dying made me so scared about who would be next that i couldn't think straight, she didn't know a lot of things and it wasn't her responsibility to because i didn't tell her. but as a teacher who has worked with kids for so many years, she should know when something's wrong and i don't think what she did was fair even without all the things she didn't know. i tried my best and came up with a pretty acceptable essay considering the time i had and it really didn't deserve an F. well, as she would say, life is hard and i just have to deal with it.